


The light in the dark is you

by JustCallMeJo



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Malec, Past Rape/Non-con, Somehow canon settings but somehow not, There are institutes, Violence, clary and magnus are like siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 15:10:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCallMeJo/pseuds/JustCallMeJo
Summary: Alec has dark powers that threaten to destroy him.Magnus has a dark past that threatens to suffocate him completely.Can they help each other find the light?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this a long time ago and decided to pick it up again today. I really hope I can finish it and i hope you’ll like it!!! The first two chapters might be a bit weird since they were written a while ago but I hope it’ll be ok anyways. 
> 
> Enjoy<333

It started off with only few meta humans whom only had one specific power. They then started to produce their offsprings therefore mixing abilities and gifting their children with huge qualities. That is why most meta humans have more than one power in the present days. 

The meta humans tried living in peace with the humans who didn’t have abilities but eventually migrated to an empty land where they set their print. They started building an empire. The empty land they had first set foot on and claimed was named Idris and it was intended to be used as the main city. The city of abilities. 

The schools for metas were placed all over the world in secluded areas and soon they started shipping off their kids to learn at early ages to be educated. The kids often stayed out at the institute they were sent to but some meta humans went rogue and started new institutes or were invited into other cities’ institutes. Some even decided to try living as normal humans as their powers overwhelmed them. Eventually the meta humans fell into the rythm that exists today. 

~

The movements of the water followed the pattern he had trained exactly in his mind. Melting through the cracks of the table to sneak with its underside until the liquid reached the pocket of his father. Magnus watched Asmodeus as he continued talking. He was holding a speech about how Magnus, one day, was going to take over the Army and lead it after his old man himself had taken the position from Hodge at Valentine's right side.  
Magnus held eye contact and nodded with pretense interest. Clary was standing in the window, glancing inside. 

Magnus continued turning his hand and leading the water safely into the pocket of his fathers military pants. He felt the jolt of his water colliding with an object. The key. He smiled with triumph, internally of course. Carefully Magnus treaded his water around the key and froze the tip of his water around the little key ring. He slowly extracted his fathers possession that had recently been given to him by Valentine. And his dad had been so proud to be trusted with such a great task. How maddened he would be when he found out his twelve year old son had outmastered him. Serves the bastard right. 

Magnus shifted his hand so the water spiraled down under his dad's armrest. Slowly but smoothly the key got floated as close to the wall next to the window as possible. Magnus took a quick look in the corner of his eye and saw Clary's hand force its way quietly through the solid wall until she could snatch the key, when she did Magnus released his hold and unfroze the water so the ice wouldn't make a sound if she broke it. He restricted it quickly and forced it back into the glass at the table. 

"-and now you know. Your responsibilities will be huge, son, I won't allow you to screw it up", Asmodeus declared vehemently, apparently finished with his rant. Magnus nodded seriously though the only words he had caught properly was 'here's your water' before he had lost focus. 

"Thank you, general", Magnus said politely, trying to keep the smug undertone out of his voice. "I will leave you to your work now, sir", Magnus nodded respectfully and disappeared out the door once Asmodeus dismissed him with a wave. 

Magnus wasted no time to run to his room. He had his packed backpack and Clary's under his bed since she had slept in his bed the night before. He hurriedly opened the door and looked both ways down the hallway to find it abandoned. Fabulous. 

He smirked a bit and then started down the hallway to meet with Clary. The walls were bare and painted in a moldy brown color. A bit of pink or yellow wouldn't hurt, Magnus thought bitterly. Well. Valentine never was one for colors anyways. 

Magnus kept on running until he reached the dungeon entrance. Clary was standing there as she had promised. He smiled in relief. 

"Great job, biscuit", he praised and hugged her fiercely. The hug was comforting. Like a hug between siblings. Which they practically were. Magnus was like an older brother to Clary. More than Sebastian ever would be. He had been the babysitter when Jocelyn, Valentine and Luke had been busy and Sebastian had been uncaring. He had taught her to tie her shoes. And to use pencils. And to spell her name. And to control her powers.  
Magnus was her brother in every way that counted. Clary sniffled before pulling back and looking up at the boy who had practically raised her. 

"Can we get mom and Luke now?" She asked. Magnus smiled reassuringly even though he wanted to break down in a heap of limbs by then. 

"Of course. Let's go", he said and took the key she had been holding tightly in her small ten year old hand. He unlocked the huge wooden door that led to a staircase which would take them to the dungeons. 

When they finally reached the cells they saw only one was occupied.  
At the sound of footsteps both Jocelyn and Luke had moved to the bars, clutching them tightly. Their knuckles were white from holding so tightly. When they saw Magnus though, their expressions changed. 

"Magnus! What are you doing here?" Jocelyn hissed worriedly. 

"We're here to get you out, then we're leaving Valentine for good. He played his last hand in locking you up, now we're officially dumping him", Magnus sassed. He walked to the cell with Clary holding tightly onto his shirt with one hand, the other in her mouth as she chewed nervously on it. 

"You have a plan?" Luke asked incredulously. Magnus smirked as he started unlocking their cell door.  
"Yes. We're going into the forest."

They were so close. So very close. The gate had been unlocked with the same key used for the cells and Magnus had exhaled in relief on that. He hadn't been sure it would, really. He had fondly helped Clary put her backpack on after they had gotten to the other side of the gate and then proceeded into the shelter of the dark night to move towards the forest. Asmodeus had learned Magnus that the line of the forest was what signaled the end of the wards Valentine put up around the mansion/school/military camp they lived in. The wards were created by the primary teacher in the Morgenstern mansion, Hodge. Whoms gift was just that. Warding and protection but also fight skills and fast learning. 

The wards were created so no one could perform their abilities during the night and that was why they had to pass it in order for Jocelyn to create the portal that they would then escape through. And they had almost reached the forest when a shout was heard. 

Magnus took a quick glance back, as well as the rest of his companion did and his eyes widened with fear. It was Sebastian Morgenstern and Asmodeus. Magnus exhaled and took a hold of Clary's tiny hand. 

"Run!" He screamed and took off, dragging his best friend and little sister after him. 

Magnus had never been more scared in his life. Admittedly, it was not a long life he had had so far, but he rather enjoyed it and would want to continue living it. 

But as scared as he was, it was nothing compared to how his heart leaped for Clary. He saw her cheeks were tearstained and broken sobs escaped her lips. His chest ached. Both from mental pain and not working out enough. Wow. He really needed to go to the gym. 

 

Clary Fairchild was a brave kid. She had been the first in her age group to go into the forest when they first visited it. She had been the first to pet a snake and she had also stood up and sang a song by herself.  
She thought a lot of that came from Magnus. He had been with her a lot ever since she was born and life without Magnus in it was not one that existed. He had always been there. 

They finally reached the forest and her small lungs burned throughly. She listened as the grown ups started talking. They were stressing a lot and she knew it was because her biological brother and Magnus mean dad was catching up to them. 

"I can't. I need more time than a few seconds!" Jocelyn stressed. 

"There has to be another way out of here", Luke said, with contained panic. Magnus gritted his teeth. 

"Yeah, we can walk fifty miles. Maybe we'll find the highway sometime next year!" He whisper-shouted. Luke and Jocelyn gave him looks that would have made Clary laugh, if it weren't for the seriousness and urgency buried in them. Magnus sighed and rubbed his eyes.  
Clary was confused, but she didn't speak, she didn't have anything that would help their conversation. 

"Okay, I'll distract them while you make a portal", Magnus said dejectedly. Jocelyn was going to protest. Magnus stopped her though.  
"I'm the only one able to do it. You have to create a portal and Clary is an absolute no. And Luke. What would you do. Show them your pecs? Hoping they get blinded by the whiteness of your teeth?" He said sarcastically. Luke and Jocelyn seemed to be out of words. Magnus gritted his teeth and looked like he was in pain. "I can do it. Just open the portal. I'll be back soon", he said and sighed again. Clary had a bad feeling in her stomach. She didn't like his tone. Not at all. Magnus crouched to her level.  
"Here. Take my backpack with you. It's just gonna be in the way", he said an shrugged it off, offering her a small smile. She didn't return it. It was too sad for her liking. She took the bag and slung it over her shoulders nonetheless. Magnus kissed her forehead.  
"There's some M&M's in the bottom, and your necklace is in a box wrapped in my clothes. Promise me you won't lose it?" He said, eyes glistening a bit. Clary thought about the necklace Magnus had given her. It was a home made one. It was a simple chain with a see through charm in a circular shape. Inside the circle was constant mood changing weather. Magnus had transferred his power to control weather into a charm and given it to Clary. The charm had a feel of ice to it and inside was every weather imaginable. Snow storm for anger. Sun for happiness. Rain for sadness, she hadn't gotten to explore it much since Valentine hated any jewelry on his children that was not a Morgenstern ring. He saw it as someone claiming them. 

"I promise", she whispered. Magnus chuckled. 

"Great. I'll see you soon Clary", he said and turned to leave when she stopped him with a shout. 

"Wait!" She ran over and hugged his waist tightly. "I love you, Magnus", she sniffled. Magnus eyes were wide with shock, then they softened and he stroked her hair.  
"I love you too, biscuit."

 

As soon as Clary, Jocelyn and Luke started running again Magnus turned quickly and raised his hands. The wind changed. The trees rustled and the clouds parted. The stars shone brightly as a storm rolled in. More like a tornado really. Magnus held both hands up and steered it towards Sebastian and Asmodeus who were closing in very quickly. Magnus let go of all control and let the tornado grow huge. It sucked every lose thing into its dizzying swirl of wind and Magnus' targets reeled back. He smirked proudly. Unfortunately, the huge tornado was draining him impeccably fast, and Sebastian was already working his own power on the twelve year old. 

The picture that was unfolding in his head was pitch black and screams rang in his ears, completely disorienting him. What was up and down. What was gravity, he couldn't breathe, his body was completely gone and the black vanished suddenly. Then the world swam back into focus. 

Sebastian was hovering over him and smirking. His dark eyes were completely black and Magnus was hit with fear. Like a hand gripped his heart and squeezed tightly.  
How long has he been out?  
The stars were still shining over Sebastian's head.  
It was still night and they were still outside. That was good, right?

"What happened?" Magnus asked groggily. His mind somewhat shaken. Sebastian had gotten good at projecting a feeling to accompany the picture he put in others heads. His ability was evolving. Magnus swallowed at the unwelcome realization.  
Sebastian grinned wickedly. It looked wrong on his face all of a sudden.  
Like when a dead person is grinning at you with open eyes.  
That creepy feeling, you know? It was the same for Magnus when Sebastian grinned. 

"My sister got away", Sebastian's dark eyes flashed with anger, but the grin was still intact. "And so did my mother and that lowlife she's been cheating on dad with", he spat, still grinning. Magnus shrunk down in the damp grass. Clouds started to form slowly and drops of water were falling. It was raining, though not naturally. Sebastian glanced up, amused. 

"You helped them escape", he tsk'd. "Dad said to put you in the dungeon and then I could do what I pleased for however long I wanted to", he laughed a bit maniacally "I have a lot in mind. It's gonna take a few years at least. I hope you're up for some fun", Sebastian's grin was still as intact when he hauled Magnus to his feet and dragged him towards the dungeons they had escaped earlier, Magnus was too exhausted to do any resistance. Though instead of putting the twelve year old in a cell, Sebastian cuffed his hands over his head by the wall. When the cuffs were secured Sebastian fetched a knife from the torture wall they had installed a year earlier. 

"Let's get a head start on all that fun, yeah?" Sebastian had the grin on his stupid face again and Magnus wanted to kick his stupid teeth out, "I wanna hear you scream."  
Magnus screamed. 

 

Luke had Clary on his shoulders as they waited for Jocelyn to weave the portal. It reminded Clary of when her mother painted. Her hands were the paintbrush and every stroke through the air left a shimmering line of purple color in the air as if it was her canvas. Clary loved to see as her mother drew the last strike with her hand and the portal was complete. Like a painting having its final stroke of color put upon it. The portal shimmered to life and Jocelyn held out a hand to Luke so they could step through. 

"Wait!" Clary demanded. "What about Magnus?" She shouted and looked frantically backwards from where they had come from. Magnus would come running any minute now. 

Jocelyn's expression turned sad and sour. “We have to go, sweetie, we don't have the time", her mother pleaded. Clary set her mouth in a stubborn line. 

"No", she protested. "Not without Magnus. Never", she said stubbornly. Jocelyn sighed, tired and drained. She wouldn't be able to hold the portal open for much longer. 

"I'm so sorry honey, but we have to", she said regretfully and yanked Luke through the portal as she leaped. Clary had to hold onto Luke's head to not fall off and was forcibly dragged through the portal too. 

She landed on something soft. Or rather someone. It was a boy with glasses and brown tousled hair. He looked at her with wide eyes. Clary blinked and looked back. Then the boy screamed. 

Simon hadn't met a lot of kids. He knew the Parisian orphanage institute was way more popular than his mother's orphanage ever had been. So not a lot of kids were living there. It was about forty in total in all different ages and sizes. Then there were the teachers, of course, who lived there all around the year. 

Simon saw them as orphans too since they never had anywhere else to go, just like the kid orphans.  
But when a red fireball was spat at him, he was admittedly scared. He looked up into huge, round green eyes and shouted.  
"MOM!" 

The little girl scrambled off of him and backwards. As he sat up, he saw there was two adults with her. They all looked terrible. Simon saw dirt and blood on their clothes and the eldest woman seemed like she was about to faint. 

"Mom!" He screamed again.  
The only male laid a protective arm around both of the girls and set his face hard. Elaine Lewis finally came running towards the bench by the pond in the forest where Simon had been playing when the strangers was spat from the water. 

"What, Simon?" Elaine asked and then stopped as she saw the strangers. “Jocelyn, Lucian?" She whispered. 

Clary and her parents (Luke was her dad, never Valentine. Just as much as Magnus was her brother) had been dragged a bit through the forest and into a house almost as huge as the Morgenstern mansion she finally started to relax. The mansion was filled with warmth and laughter echoed down the hallways. Children were running and playing in the yard with grown ups watching and handing out lemonade. The mansion walls were filled to the rim with photos and every door had two names or more written on them in children's blocky handwritings. Some doors were blank and Clary assumed that was grown up doors. ("Why doesn't grown ups play with us, Magnus?"  
"Because grown ups are boring and kids are hilarious!")  
They finally reached a door and the woman called Elaine opened it swiftly. It must've been her office. 

"Simon, wait here with Clary", Elaine said and pointed to two of the chairs situated after the wall outside her door. She didn't wait for an answer and only walked into her office after Luke and Jocelyn, then closed the door. 

"Should we sit?" Simon asked and smiled. He was missing one of his front teeth. Clary smiled back. They sat down on two chairs next to each other. 

"So. Are they your parents?" He asked cautiously. 

"Yes", Clary whispered. Simon nodded. 

"Okay. Cool", he grinned, easy and carefree. "Do you have any siblings?" He asked then. Clary's heart was hurting. 

"Yes", she whispered even lower. Simons sensed something was wrong but curios as he was he didn't stop asking. 

"Brother or sister?" 

"Brother."

"What's his name?" 

Clary's resolve crumbled. Her tears started pouring rapidly. She told the little boy beside her everything. How training for combat started at age six. How her own brother didn't care and therefore Magnus took care of her. How Jocelyn loved another man and when Valentine found out he had locked them in a cell. How Magnus had come up with the plan and finally her brother's sacrifice. 

"But he's going to come back. He's going to find a way", she said, convinced he would. She believed in him. During the tale Simon had been silent. She looked at him shyly and saw he was watching her with shock. Simon had never heard of anything like the institute Clary had been to.  
It was scary to know places like that existed. 

"Wow. Well, I really hope he's going to come back, he seems badass!" Simon exclaimed, going for the optimistic attitude rather than something else. Clary finally offered a genuine smile.  
A smile that's fought through tears is the most beautiful smile in the world. 

 

When Jocelyn and Luke announced they were going to live there Clary was happy. The mansion seemed cosy and nice and Magnus would know where to find them. Simon offered a spot in his room while Jocelyn and Luke got their own room. They had been employed as teachers by Elaine and Simon told Clary how every kid and grown up was kind of orphans at their institute since it was an orphanage. He told her it meant they had no parents and nowhere else to go.  
That saddened her. But not enough to cry. 

After a shower she walked into her new room. It was big with two beds on each side of the huge window that was placed on the middle wall. There was two wardrobes and a toy chest at the foot of Simon's bed where the mentioned boy was currently sitting and reading. When Clary had unpacked her bag and put everything away she moved on to Magnus' backpack. She carefully plucked the necklace from the small box and put it on. The blue background represented heaven and dark clouds were covering it when she had closed the clasp. That probably meant she was gloomy. Simon saw how the necklace had changed. 

"Cool necklace", he commented. 

"Thanks. It was a gift from Magnus", she explained and then stashed her brothers backpack under the bed again. She wasn't going to unpack it. He could do that when he came to her. Then she started walking. Out of the door, through the hallways and out into the forest. Simon had scrambled after her and silently followed until they reached the bench where he had sat when she fell on him. 

"Why are we here?" He asked. 

"We're waiting", Clary said. Simon frowned. 

"What are we waiting for?" Simon asked tentatively. Clary turned and made eye contact with him seriously. The green looked like flames burning in her eyes and Simon could see her determination. 

"We're waiting for Magnus."

And they waited. They went to the bench everyday after classes. Sometimes even Raphael and Lydia tagged along even though they were two years older. Clary told them why they were really there once she dared open up more, then they were all best friends. Together they sat on the bench every day eventually making it their spot. They talked and played. And they kept on waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

Seven years later

 

The last time Alec Lightwood hugged someone he was thirteen. He remembered it vividly. 

(Five years ago)  
Alec was hugging his mother as she wept. They had just found out that his powers were highly unusual. Something grotesque and delicate that was never to be used ever.   
Alec understood. He didn't want to use his powers again. Not ever. He was so scared of them. Maryse was crying softly and holding onto her eldest son like a lifeline. When she started to drop, Alec desperately tried to keep her upright. 

"Mom! What's wrong? Mom!" He exclaimed and tried to keep a grip. His mother was slowly decaying while sinking to the floor. Her cheeks sunk in, her skin turned ashen and her hair grey. Alec didn't understand, he just held her. 

"Dad!" He screamed. The door flung open and Robert Lightwood burst through it. He saw his wife's decaying corpse and his son sitting beside it, tears slowly making their way down Alec's face.   
Robert sprung forward and took Alec's free hand. 

"Come on, son, we have to go", Robert said and tugged Alec up urgently. He sounded uncharacteristically scared. The teenager slowly let go of his mother and stood. He saw Jace and Izzy in the doorway. He wanted to run over and shield them. He was the eldest. He was supposed to protect them. Maybe there was some things he couldn't protect them from. Isabelle was sobbing quietly and Jace was stone faced. Alec saw that his adoptive brother was sad anyway. He had learned to read Jace after having known him for six years. The Lightwood family wasn't complete without Jace anymore. Just as father and son were starting towards the door Robert stopped and cried out in pain. He kept a strong hold on Alec's hand and Alec went down too when his father collapsed. 

"Dad?!" He shouted. Robert was slowly starting to be drained like Maryse had been. His eyes sunk into his skin, wrinkles disturbed his smooth skin and a grey hue replaced the tan skin. His arms and legs sunk into themselves, skeleton showing. Alec quickly let go of his father. He was starting to understand. 

"Dad?" He whispered and leaned forward to take a pulse. As his fingers met the pulse point on his fathers neck everything exploded. Literally. His dad's body went up in a cloud of dust. Alec stared wide-eyed at the place where his dad had laid seconds earlier. Izzy screamed. Jace choked. Alec felt like he couldn't breathe. But he gathered his thoughts. 

"Jace, take Izzy and get Max, quickly", he ordered. Jace nodded nervously and grabbed Izzy's hand before running. Alec curtly made his way over to the phone on the desk that was placed in the room he was in. It was his moms office. He flipped the phone book open and read trough the contacts. One stood out. 

Lewis orphanage institute (Jocelyn F. residence) 

He didn't understand why the last note was important, but his mom wouldn't have written it otherwise. Carefully he dialed the number. 

"Hello, Elaine Lewis speaking", a voice chirped. Alec swallowed. 

"Hello. My name is Alec Lightwood. I need help", he said, voice strong and eyes fastened on his moms withering form. 

"How old are you?" Elaine asked worriedly. 

"I'm thirteen", he answered patiently. "Could you send someone to get us maybe?" He asked. 

"What happened, sweetie?" The nice lady asked. Alec wanted to scream at her, or possibly break down crying. He did neither. 

"I think we're orphans now. You run an orphanage, right?" He asked coldly. A small gasp was heard. 

"We?" The lady asked with a small voice but he heard some commotion in the background too. 

"Yes, me and my siblings. I think they need me now, I'm the oldest. I really don't have time to talk, I don't trust my brother with the crib", he cleared his throat. 

"Yes, of course. We will send someone in by a portal. Can you meet us outside your house?" She asked. Alec sighed. 

"The wards went out with my fathers life. You can portal to Maryse Lightwood's office instead", he said steadily. 

"Oh. I understand. We will come as fast as we can", he heard the overwhelming pity in the lady's voice. 

"Thank you", he said and hung up. He didn't let any tears fall as he manoeuvred over his mothers corpse and continued towards his and Jace's room. He packed up all the necessities and slung the duffel bag over his shoulder before walking over the hall to Izzy's room, doing the same there. 

Lastly he went to Max's room. Izzy and Jace were seated on the floor with Max who was playing carelessly. 

"Hey", Alec whispered. "I called someone to get us, we're gonna be okay", he reassured while packing Max's stuff.   
Jace and Izzy remained silent. Max babbled obliviously. 

"What happened Alec?" Jace suddenly demanded. Alec faltered as he packed and sighed deeply. 

"My powers manifested, but you can't tell anyone. They're very dangerous and a lot of people can get hurt if anyone were to know", Alec told them seriously. Jace watched him with understanding. It was a relief that there was no disgust. Izzy was only eleven and not fully attuned to what Alec meant by that, yet she promised to never tell anyone. Max was only two and wouldn't understand. 

"And I have to ask that you guys never touch me, okay?" He said seriously. Both Jace and Izzy raised their eyebrows in surprise. They hadn't thought about that. Alec had always been a warm and loving embrace. A comforting presence at all times. A kiss on the forehead, a hug, a hand to hold and an arm slung over shoulders. 

"But-" Izzy started to protest. Alec cut her off. 

"No. No touching. Not until I allow it", he said an he knew that would never happen. Jace and Izzy grudgingly agreed. He finished packing and then gestured for the door. 

"Let's go", he said. Jace watched him with wide eyes. Alec was always the one to carry Max if needed. 

"It's okay Jace. He's not that heavy", Alec promised. Jace huffed. 

"I know", he snorted and plucked the toddler into his arms carefully before standing. Alec waved them outside. He watched as they walked down towards the office, but before following his eyes strayed to the plant in the window. He gulped and walked over. It was a beautiful shimmering plant, his mother had created it when Max was born and it had never withered before. Not even one blade had turned brown and dead during the years Max had been alive. Alec slowly, cautiously reached out and placed his index finger on the thickest branch. The flower crumpled quicker than Alec could retract his finger. The branch was completely dead. He was scared. But something compelled him to reach out again. He placed his pinky finger on a branch that was almost as big. It scrunched up like a raisin, turning a sickly shade of brown. He had sucked the life force out of it. 

Astonished, Alec tried with another body part. He leaned down and pressed his mouth to the base of the entire plant. It was a feather light peck and when he opened his eyes, tears started to fall. The previously green and gold shimmering plant was scrunched into pitiful little weed. The green and gold shimmer was replaced with dark and light brown hues and the moist was completely gone. It was like it hadn't been watered for years. Alec's breath hitched. He had sucked the soul out of the plant. 

Just like he had done with his parents...

Alec Lightwood had never hugged another person ever again. 

 

~

 

The bickering of his siblings and friends drew him back to reality and out of memory land. 

"One date!" Jace was pleading with Clary. She was stubbornly shaking her head, but Alec saw her lips quirk up in a hidden smile when Jace kissed her hand repeatedly while pleading 'charmingly' (as Jace liked to think he still had his pride, "I do not beg.") 

Alec turned his eyes to Simon and Isabelle. They were sitting in the grass, Izzy's back to his chest and whispering things to each other while picking at the clear green grass straws.

Lydia and Raphael were present too. They were sitting with their backs to a tree trunk right by the pond, shoulders and sides pressed together. They were not an item but they were good friends. 

Alec though. He didn't touch anyone. And he didn't dare sit in the grass. In case his sweatshirt would slip up or he accidentally put down a hand as that might lead to him accidentally sucking all the life of the ground into himself. He had managed to keep the ability a secret with a little help from Izzy and Jace. Not even Elaine or their friends knew or Max for that part.   
Alec was seated on the bench next to Jace and Clary and he wasn't touching anything with his hands but his own lap. Not risking anything. Usually he wore gloves but it was summer and he didn't really have an excuse since it was burning hot. He had barely been able to explain the combat boots, jeans and thick black hoodie. He knew touching through clothes was possible but he had never tried the theory much. Only a few seconds of holding Izzy's hand a few years ago when they had first come to the institute. He had never felt anyone's body heat in five years. He was happy about that though. And strangely proud of himself. He hadn't killed anyone. Yay Alec. 

"Hey, Alec, why don't you come and help us with this thing!" Lydia called out, frowning. Alec, Lydia and Raphael were all the same age, eighteen. They had the same classes and homework and had become friends because of that.   
Simon, Izzy, Clary and Jace were seventeen and also had all their classes together.

Jace, Izzy and Alec had really all just befriended the people in their classes, noticed the specific people they befriended already was a group, and then they had all been invited to the sacred spot the 'group' had claimed. This had all happened within the first month of them coming to the institute. The Lightwood siblings had been told Clary's story roughly five months after they had been accepted into the group and this Magnus person was kind of infamous in their little possé. 

They had all heard a lot of tales about him and Clary wore the necklace every day. Alec admired Magnus for the bravery he had had.   
Clary knew everyone thought her brother was dead. But hope was still nestled somewhere in her. She had told them as much only a few months ago. Her speech had received several pitying looks but she just shrugged it off and continued hoping and waiting. Alec admired her stubbornness. 

When he finally walked over to Raphael and Lydia he sank down next to Lydia. She had blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail/braid thingy and exploring grey eyes. Alec made sure not to touch anything with his hands when he got comfortable on his knees. He leaned closer and watched the page they were on. 

"Oh. I know that one", he said, quirking his lips slightly. A smile was such a rare thing for Alec and everyone knew it. Especially their immediate group. They knew he didn't like being touched and was often quiet and withdrawn some days. But they didn't know why because the Lightwoods had never told them why or how they even ended up at the institute. They had never told their story. Alec knew it was hard for their friends when they didn't understand why Alec was so weird sometimes since Izzy always told them tales from before his powers manifested and he had seemed like a completely different person in her tales. But their friends still accepted him and he appreciated that. 

"Just do it like this", he started to explain the problem and leaned forward a bit. He could feel Lydia breathe. 

He was so close to another human. He could just reach out and touch. Just a friendly brush of fingers or a high five or leaning into each other for support. But he wouldn't. He would never do that. 

"Thanks!" Lydia smiled and Alec leaned back. He overbalanced and quickly steadied himself with a hand on the tree trunk. With an inaudible gasp he withdrew his hand. Subtly he glanced to the spot where his hand had been. 

The tree looked like it was cut in half. The half Lydia and Raphael were leaning on was healthy while the other side looked sick and decayed. Alec internally swore.   
Hopefully they wouldn't notice. 

"I'll go back to the bench now, shout if you need me", he told them and stood up, not waiting for a reply before walking back to Jace and Clary. Jace was currently tickling the red head. 

"Okay. You win", Clary laughed, out of breath. Jace pumped a fist in the air. 

Clary agreed to a date then, Alec noted. He smiled when he sat down. 

"Finally gave in?" He raised an eyebrow in question. Clary rolled her eyes. 

"Yeah yeah. Make fun of me all you want", she drawled. Alec chuckled. 

"No. I'm happy for you. I hope it works out and I hope it won't interfere with all of our friendships", he said sternly. Izzy whistled. 

"Yeah, I'm not gonna choose sides when you break up", she agreed. Jace gave her a charming smile. 

"We'll just have to never break up then", he wiggled his eyebrows at Clary. Simon snorted, offended. 

"Shouldn't you have approval before you ask someone out", Simon said pointedly. Alec smirked. Simon had come to him and Jace six months ago asking for permission to date Izzy. They had laughed. Then he said he was serious. And they laughed a bit more before allowing it. (Not like Izzy was gonna say yes. "Haha! You thought!") 

"Okay. I'll ask Jocelyn when we get back!" Jace said nonchalantly. Simon frowned. 

"What about me?" He said. Jace eyed him, unimpressed. 

"What about you? You think your opinion matters?" Jace asked innocently. Simon snorted again but dropped it. 

"Guys, it's getting late", Alec said after checking his watch. "We have to be back soon", he added. 

"Let's go then", Raphael decided. The others agreed. After packing their things they started the walk back to the institute.   
Clary fell back into step with Alec. 

"You know it's okay to reject Jace's date, right? No one’s forcing you", Alec told her seriously. She wasn't supposed to feel like she had to. Clary gave a small smile. 

"No. I want to do it. I just wanted him to chase me first", she whispered conspiratorially. "Knock him off his high horse you know", she smirked. Alec nodded his understanding. 

"Good. I hope you'll have fun", he said. Clary looked up at him. He knew he looked kind of sick. Bags under his eyes, pale skin and slouching back. Her round huge eyes caught his. 

"Are you okay?" She asked. Alec nodded, then gave a small cough. 

"Yeah", Alec knew what he had to do. But he was really not up for it. Well. What can you do? 

"Hey, I forgot my text book", he said and showed off his best 'I'm such a moron' face. Clary raised her eyebrows. 

"Oh, well we could go back-"

"No need, I'll just run and get it real quick", Alec promised. Clary looked like she wanted to protest. 

"Really. I'm fine", Alec assured. She pursed her lips. 

"Okay", she nodded and Alec turned his back as fast as he could before taking off. Clary looked after him for a few seconds then ran to catch up with her friends. 

Alec quickly reached the bench and the pond. He was really on his last energy by then. Panting like he had run a marathon. 

Catching his breath he hurried deeper into the forest. Where the animals were hiding. 

Alec went out regularly once a month. That was when his energy started to slip. His own life energy relied on the energy he took from other living things and beings. If he didn't feed on life energy regularly his immunity to all abilities would disappear and so would his grotesque ability and then his body would slowly get sicker until it eventually faded away. He was dependent on life energy to maintain his own. 

When the dark haired boy reached a rabbit hole he raised his hand to a tree. When his hand came down he felt all the particles surge toward him as if he was a magnet and rush into his hand and out into his bloodstream. He could feel the colour spread on his body, making him not look so pale. When he had enough energy to jump start his ability he removed his hand from the tree. Slowly he opened his eyes to see the stump of what once was a majestic oak. He had done that. He had seen all the beauty and drained it. Like a life sucking parasite. That was all he was. A lowlife bug. 

He was about to be even worse. Alec knew animals were the closest thing to a human's life energy and therefore the easiest way for him to stock up on his own energy. But he had really not known how to capture the animals without killing them. (If he killed them before touching them their energy would already be gone when he reached them.)

So to catch without kill he was forced to use his grotesque power. The one he had sworn to never use...

Alec reached out a hand and felt as his power searched for a blood source. It edged its way through the rabbit hole until a source of blood appeared. Alec clenched his fist and his power gripped hold of every particle of blood in the rabbit. Then Alec slowly commanded the blood work with his mind. He commanded it to flow so that the rabbit was steered towards the opening. As he watched the animal's head peek out from its home he took a breath before continuing. He commanded the blood to steer the rabbit all the way to his feet. Then he held the animal in place with his grotesque blood compulsion power. 

Alec was disgusted with himself. His parents would look away if they saw him. He crouched to the ground and reached the hand not clenched to a fist into the rabbits grey and brown fur. As soon as he made contact with the warm skin he could feel the life surge into him again. 

Alec hated that he enjoyed it. He hated that he wanted more. He hated it. 

It took two more rabbits for his life to fully restore up to normal rate. Now he would last at least one month before he would have to repeat the process again. 

As Alec looked down at the three rabbits he had just killed, he started to cry. He let himself sink to the ground and wallow in misery for ten seconds. Then he stood up again and walked away. He wasn't allowed to feel sorry for himself. That was weak.   
So Alec wiped his tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus didn’t know how long he’d been trapped. It felt like he had never seen sunlight his whole life, yet he remained tan thanks to his Asian heritage. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been trapped. Therefore he didn’t know how old he was. The only memories he clung onto every miserable day of his life was those of Clary. If you could even call it a life when you’re not really living. 

He keeps repeating the memories every time Sebastian visits. Every time he brings pain and every time Magnus fights that with happy memories of Clary. Clary. Jocelyn. Luke. That’s the mantra he chants in his head all the time. His food is spaced out between the days to keep him extremely weak and no one ever visits the dungeons except for Sebastian and the occasional slave to bring his food. 

But today. Today. Something was different. Sebastian put down his knife with a huff. It’s his favorite. It had a double edged blade and he loved the zig zag pattern it drew on Magnus’ skin. 

Magnus was still in the same handcuffs he’d been stuck to for the entire time since he was captured. 

“You don’t scream anymore,” Sebastian whined. Magnus scoffed quietly, energy drained. “It’s not as fun,” the Morgenstern boy continued. If he even was a boy anymore. Magnus had seen him grow over the time. He looked adult now. Maybe Magnus did too? He had never seen a mirror since he was captured. 

“I need a new plan,” Sebastian muttered. Magnus felt something he hadn’t felt in such a long time bloom in his chest bloom. Hope. 

A plan started taking shape in his head. He kept his excitement internal and tried to sound like he’d given up on everything. 

“Why not chase me,” he said, lifelessly, and praised his own acting in his head. “Catching a prey is exhilarating.” He tempted. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sebastian scoffed but Magnus could see the interest sparked in his eyes. 

“Aw come one. I’m weak and hurt. How could you not catch me. No one needs to know since it will be such a simple deal to just catch me again. It’s impossible to escape for me in this state,” he rattled his chains to make a point. 

Sebastian’s resolve slowly weakened as he mulled over the idea. Magnus felt the hope in his chest, beating wildly. 

“Hmm, why not,” Sebastian finally hummed before leaving. Magnus let a beautiful, huge smile grace his features. 

He had hope. He just needed a bit of luck now. 

-

Night came quickly. Magnus could tell because Sebastian brought him food at the same time as ever, letting the darkness of the world be seen to Magnus for a split second as the dungeon doors opened. 

“I don’t want it to be too easy when I catch you,” Sebastian smirked as Magnus stared at the hefty meal, astonished. He shuddered from the creepy grin on Sebastian’s face, his body convulsing with the memories of those late nights where Sebastian had forced himself on him. 

He had to get out. He had to find Clary. 

Magnus ate quickly and waited for Sebastian to start their chase. 

The Morgenstern returned not long after and smirked as he tossed the key at Magnus’ feet. The Asian male looked up with round eyes. 

“I’ll give you three minutes head start,” Sebastian grinned maniacally and disappeared. Magnus hurriedly grabbed the key and uncuffed himself before standing on wobbly legs. They hadn’t been used for quite the while. 

He hurried up the stairs, steadying himself with the help of the walls as his legs seemed incapable of properly functioning at the moment. The stairs were a struggle but he made it. The door was open and he swiftly slid out into the hallway. Nothing seemed to have changed during his imprisonment Magnus noted as he ran as best as he could through the familiar halls. 

The mansion was dead quiet and Magnus assumed the residents were sleeping. He made sure to be extremely agile with his every move so he wouldn’t make any sounds, although it was harder said than done with the ache spreading through his body as it had not been used for a while. 

Magnus didn’t know how much time he’d spent getting out of the house but he was just leaving the building when the sound of footsteps were heard. His three minutes were up. 

Magnus forced his feet to run and took off at a crazy sprint for the forest, his whole body burning with the effort. Sebastian was quickening his steps, the Morgenstern letting out psychotic laughs as he went. 

Magnus huffed and panted as he ran, stumbling over rocks and roots in the ground, his bare feet twisting and getting scraped. 

A hand grabbed his wrist firmly right before he reached the border and he was spun around to face Sebastian wearing that same manic smile he’d worn all those years ago. Sebastian pulled Magnus uncomfortably close, his breath fanning over the Asian male’s face. Magnus wanted to scream in frustration. 

“You were right, a chase is so much more fun,” Sebastian whispered and pressed their bodies close together. Magnus tried to wriggle out of his grasp. “I caught you, you’re mine. You will always be mine” 

Magnus felt tears prickling at his eyes. He couldn’t accept this. He couldn’t accept being locked up for the rest of his life. He couldn’t wait for someone to save him. He had to save himself. 

Magnus’ powers had been dormant during his imprisonment. So he was surprised when he felt that familiar hum of power surging through him. With all the strength he could muster, Magnus sent out a small lightning bolt that stunned Sebastian into letting him go. 

As Sebastian was spasming from the electricity Magnus found energy and bolted. He was astonished that his powers worked during the lateness of the night. He knew that Hodge had lifted the wards that night all those years ago so Sebastian and Valentine would be able to use their powers to capture the runaways but they hadn’t counted on Magnus. Therefore he was confused as to why the wards seemed to be down at the moment. 

Magnus passed the wards nonetheless and disappeared into the woods. 

 

~~~

 

Magnus walked for several hours. Sebastian had been chasing him for at least a couple of kilometers but Magnus regained strength in his powers and sent out bursts of wind or electricity that slowed Sebastian immensely. Now he had finally lost the menace. 

Magnus knew that if he stopped walking he’d start breaking down mentally and he couldn’t afford that. 

Now that his powers worked again, he could feel the necklace he had given to Clary drawing his powers to it. He had essentially put a bit of his magic in that necklace and it was calling out for its lost part. 

When he reached a source of sweet water he finally took a break to drink. He was so tired. So very tired. Magnus’ skin was burning from being exposed to the sun after years of darkness. 

He found a spot under a tree that was mostly shadowed and curled up. His breathing evened out immediately as he fell into slumber. 

~

Clary was so close. Clary. Jocelyn. Luke. He kept chanting as he trekked through the forest. 

The world felt so huge and like a completely new place. He had been in seclusion and darkness for so long, he felt like he needed to relearn how to live. 

Magnus continued walking until his legs eventually caved from exhaustion. He couldn’t keep going anymore. He passed out from dehydration, not having eaten and the exhaustion of using his body again. 

~

When Magnus awoke again he was not outside. He had definitely been moved to a softer surface and there was a roof glaring down at him. 

A face popped into his line of vision. Magnus yelped and flinched. It was a woman with blue skin and moon colored hair. 

“Clam down,” she said, voice not allowing any objections. Then she proceeded to feed him some sort of liquid. 

“I’m Catarina Loss, I’m a healer,” the woman explained as Magnus gave her confused stares. His eyes softened slightly in recognition. 

“I found you passed out and brought you to my cabin, I mean no harm. I simply wanted to help,” Catarina told him in a calm and orderly manner. 

“I’m Magnus Bane,” he introduced himself. Catarina gave a small friendly smile before turning and writing in a book. Magnus curiously watched her. 

“You can stay here for a few days. You are seriously malnourished and I need to treat the wounds on your body for a bit longer,” she told him and Magnus was thankful that she didn’t mention the numerous scars he had. 

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate your hospitality,” he managed to get out, shocker at the kindness of this stranger. He knew he needed to gather his strength before going after Clary again, and maybe a few days rest would do him good. 

~ 

Magnus stayed for five days. Catarina turned out to be of great help. She managed to get clothes for him and fed him incredible food. She also provided medicine that helped his malnourishment and weak muscles that had been dormant for years. 

Magnus couldn’t thank her enough as he left the safe space of her home. Catarina gave him a ring that would allow him to call for her if he ever needed help, then they hugged and Magnus was on his way again. 

Clary. Jocelyn. Luke.

**Author's Note:**

> Like and comment if you think it’s worth it!!! Thanks for reading <33


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